hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
