her facebook's as public as her vagina
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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