Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
