he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
