Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
