if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
