Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
