you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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