Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
