you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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