Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Success! We fucked roommates!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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