apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
