Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
