So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
