If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You made out with two different species that night
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
