she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
