Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Just cropdusted the office
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
