We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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