he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
