are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
