I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
