I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
