Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
