he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I love having hate sex.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
