So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Randomize
