If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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