My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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