so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
