Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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