It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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