who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
My feet surprised me
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
