"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
