I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
