how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
