Even the bartender felt bad for me
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
