It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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