Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
