I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Panties = found
Randomize
