The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You dont lie about slip and slides
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
