We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
