we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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