I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
