Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
