is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
