That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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