My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
