The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
