You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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