So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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