I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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