i already hear my dad disowning me
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
