I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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