"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
