someone threw a dead crab at me
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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